3 Copywriting Mistakes that Kill Your Cold Emails

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Email Copywriting Mistakes

Your prospects delete most of the cold emails sitting in their inboxes, and they’re probably deleting yours, too. Don’t confuse your prospects by sending unclear messages. Focus on benefit-driven emails that target their specific pain points.

Even if you have a solid product, your cold email campaigns often won’t work unless you craft persuasive email copy that evokes your prospects’ emotions and moves them to take action. 

Below are three common mistakes that turn off your prospects and tips on how to avoid making these mistakes in your next email.

Mistake #1: Your Cold Emails are About You, Not Your Prospects
Self-focused requests, like the following, don’t show your prospects that you’re concerned about their pain points.

“I just got off a great call with a prospect and they couldn’t believe how amazing [Company Name] is.

Do you want to book an hour for me to show you what [Company Name] is doing and how I can help your sales team sell more and faster?”

You only have three seconds to grab your prospects’ attention. The more space you waste talking about yourself, the less opportunity you have to convey the relevance of your product to their problems. 

Can it help them save time/money? Increase productivity? Simplify a complex task? 

 Make sure your cold email message is crystal clear about how your product can solve their problems.

Copywriting Pro Tip #1: Great sales copy conveys empathy. Put yourself in your prospects’ shoes. 
Cold emails like the one below stand out because they focus on the prospects’ needs and NOT the seller’s ego. Prove to your prospects that you’re a real human being offering something of value.

“I’d like to share a quick idea with you that has helped [Client Name] gamify their sales team and exceed their revenue goals.”

Showing a genuine interest in your prospects and engaging them in a real conversation about their business helps lowers their defenses and makes it easier for your prospects to say yes to your request.

Mistake #2: Relying Heavily on External Links and Bold Font for Attention
Your prospects aren’t fooled by gimmicks or cheesy tactics. Bold fonts and external links to client reviews don’t make crappy copy more appealing or believable. 

Cluttering your emails with too much junk, like the example below, distracts your prospects. Directing them to a video link or a white paper risks boring them. Their lost attention is never regained.

“The purpose of my call, was to show you this working for an existing client, and see what value this can have for you, the next step after that is testing this on your website, with no obligation and no cost so you can see actionable results from your own site, a list of businesses who have visited to learn more, but haven’t made that all important enquiry.

 70% of businesses will purchase from the first business they speak to, therefore statistically speaking this will give you a greater chance of winning that business. All the information we provide is in real time! 

Be sure to check out some fantastic testimonials at Client reviews and  Expert views

The problem with links are that they are only effective if your Call to Action to click the link is enticing and if the link’s content is valuable and ties back to your email’s Call to Action.  

The other problem with links is that you may risk giving too much away with your content. Your prospects’ incentives to respond to your email and start a conversation with you may be lower because you’ve already given them the content.

Copywriting Pro Tip #2: The most effective cold emails have a clean, straightforward message. 
The message below centers on an enticing benefit, reducing the time wasted on simple tasks. Compelling benefits are always more persuasive than flashy graphics and slick videos explaining the features of your product.

“How much time are you spending each week on {!Company}’s Salesforce reporting? 

I have a time saving hack that could dramatically reduce the time you’re spending each week on {!Company}’s Salesforce reports used by companies like [Client Name]  and [Client Name].

Do you have time for a short call this week?”

Mistake #3: Where’s Your Call to Action?
Calls to Action are the last impression your prospects have of you. Weak or missing call to actions don’t move your prospects to act. Your prospects aren’t going to respond to a cold email like the one below because it hasn’t given them a reason to.

“Could you point me to the person over your inside sales team?”

Without a clear CTA, your cold emails are a waste.

Copywriting Pro Tip #3: Before you hit send, ask yourself, “why would they respond?”
You need to show your prospects what’s in it for them. 

Emails like the example below incentivize your prospects to respond because they offer them something in return for their time.

“In exchange for a short call I’ll give you a few tips for improving {!Company}’s employee retention that we’ve learned from [Client Name] and [Client Name].”

Don’t leave your prospects hanging at the end of your cold email.

Once you’ve crafted a benefit-driven message that speaks directly to your prospects’ needs, don’t forget to proofread. 

Making silly spelling and grammar mistakes torpedo your cold email campaigns. 

Make sure you understand the difference between to or too and their or they’re. Mistakes like these turn off your prospects and cause them to lose trust in your abilities.


Would you like to know more copywriting secrets for writing cold emails that compel your prospects to respond every time?

The team at Salesfolk have written a new guide to help you transform your bland cold emails into unforgettable messages your prospects can’t ignore. Download  “Copywriting Secrets for Crafting Seductive Cold Emails” and start writing compelling emails! 

This is a guest post by Heather R. Morgan. She is the CEO of Salesfolk, a sales consultancy that specializes in helping B2B sales organizations start warm conversations with cold emails.  


Making the right connections, made easy with CRM

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This is a guest post by Lindsay Garrison, Chief Problem Solver at On the verge, inc., a Zoho Alliance Partner in the Greater Boston Area.

You’ve probably heard that user adoption is one key to CRM success. If you can’t get your staff to log in and use it, then you don’t have a viable customer relationship management solution. And, while there are many things I can do for my clients, one thing I can’t do is make them use their CRM system.Zoho-CRM-making-connections

Earlier this year we had the opportunity to help a non-profit agency implement Zoho CRM. Their employees had experienced two failed software initiatives in the prior two years; to say that the staff was not enthusiastic to go down that road again is an understatement. This organization has a staff of 60 people who are spread from Vermont to China – and had no centralized information. It was typical for someone to wait hours (and waste time) just to track down a name or email address. It was hurting morale and productivity, and they had to fix it.

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Measuring and maximizing the money-saving value of self-service channels

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By Ashley Verrill

Recently, I called Zoho evangelist Raju Vegesna to get his advice for a research project I was working on. Self-service channels are becoming increasingly popular, and I wanted to find out the average value customer service organizations get from their self-service channels.

With the help of Raju and other experts, I identified a set of variables I would measure in combination to ultimately determine the total value of self-service. The resulting equation, calculates the issues companies solve each month through self-service channels that don’t involve an employee; then how much that same level of service would have cost had the customer called, emailed or chatted a CSR. Here’s what we came up with:


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What’s Missing From Your Holiday Shopping List? Better Customer Service

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This is a guest post by Shabana Shiliwala, who owns The Financial Sort, a financial planning company based in Austin, Texas.

While you’re shopping for holiday gifts, pay attention: if you’re impressed or frustrated by the customer service you experience from a business, chances are other people are too. There isn’t a better time than the crowded and hectic holiday shopping season to observe how you can improve your business’s customer service:

Short response time. It seems the rarest commodity these days is courtesy. Can you even
remember how many emails you’ve sent that have been ignored? It’s become de rigueur to call
multiple times if you ever expect to receive a response. Want to really surprise your customers?
Call them back right away. Customers will be so blown away by this uncommon act of common
courtesy that they won’t know what hit them.

Real people. Is there anything more infuriating than not being able to talk to a real person?
Give customers a shock by having someone actually answer the phone. Instead of sending an automatic response to emails saying you’ll respond in 24 hours (but no one ever does because there’s no system in place to deal with emails), designate an employee who will have the responsibility of promptly responding to emails personally. Talk about standing out from the competition.

Well-trained employees. Have you ever been told by an employee at a store that they don’t
carry a certain product you’re looking for, only to find it on your own while browsing? Or
discovered that an employee gave you incorrect information about a product, so you can’t help
but wonder if it was on purpose just to make a sale? Staffing your business with
unknowledgeable employees is a surefire path to frustrating your customers and compromising
your business’s professional image. Employees represent your business to your customers, so
it’s worth spending extra time and effort to ensure they can explain your business’s products and
services as well as you can.

100% satisfaction guaranteed. How you treat customers after they’ve made a purchase is
possibly the most important interaction you have with them. Have you ever been made to feel
guilty or ashamed while trying to return a product? Or felt frustrated and angry when your
complaints about a product or service fell on deaf ears? Most importantly, did you continue
shopping at that store? The true test of good customer service is how you deal with a dissatisfied
client. Can you make every customer interaction a positive one? When customers feel that they
are heard and respected even when they express dissatisfaction, they’ll be more likely to
continue doing business with you. A “no questions asked” return policy and responding to
complaints with immediate refunds, discounts or bonuses go a long way towards fostering
goodwill and building brand loyalty among your customers. Not only will they feel comfortable
continuing doing business with you, customers will also be more likely to try new products or
services since they know there’s no risk.

All you have to do is open your eyes while doing your holiday shopping to find the best gift you
can give your customers this year–better service.