What are they talking about?!?

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I ran across this press release that reminded me of the days, that I thought were in the distant past, when software vendors sold what we referred to as “back up the truck software” because it was so hefty it needed to be forklifted in. Take a look at these offerings and see if you are as confused as I was with the tech speak mumbo jumbo and the ability to take something so simple and make it so complex.

Assess and plan for Business Impact through defined goals and objectives in order to reach consensus among stakeholders, validate solution viability and facilitate successful adoption

What?!?

Create and leverage an effective Governance Service model that incorporates industry best practices and standards for information architecture, user experience, communication, and training

Huh?

Deploy cutting-edge Social Networking Services based upon defined goals and objectives, business impact and governance, architecture design, pilot programs and adoption roadmaps

Adoption roadmaps?!?

Migration Planning for legacy applications such as IBM® Lotus Notes® through business impact assessment, planning, and architectural design

Sounds painful!

Deploy an Enterprise Search Application Architecture based upon business requirements, build a prototype for a pilot or real-world implementation, and leverage best practices for deploying Microsoft search technologies

Google for business?

Wow! I think in plain English the intent is to offer businesses the ability to utilize collaboration tools like Wikis, forums and shared business documents to help them be more productive.

Fortunately, you can get all these business optimizing tools from Zoho, including our newly launched Actionable Search app. Oh, and businesses can leave their forklifts at home because they don’t need to install it and leave their checkbooks in their pockets because there’s no services required and it’s all available for a nominal subscription fee.

Boy, haven’t heard techno babble like that in a long time! If you see anything like this out there please share it as this one gave me a good laugh.