8 tips for measuring (and improving) customer happiness

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Dear Newark Airport Express,

Not that you care, which you made glaringly obvious during our interactions, but your customer service sucks. Actually, sucks is far too generous. Let me see if I can dig up an adjective to accurately describe your “customer service.” Insipid, deprived, anemic… those aren’t quite painting the picture either.

Let’s try this on, Newark Airport Express (operated by Coach USA), whatever the opposite of customer service is – customer disservice? – you dominate that game and will be in contention for the top spot at this year’s most miserable event, the World Cup of Dissatisfaction. Pay attention, Time Warner Cable and Comcast. While your impending supernova of awful customer service might swallow us all, you’re gonna have to fight to take down these buses if you want the trophy. 

To those with customers, I beg you to take note. While I don’t have the secret recipe to amazing customer service, I can point you in the right direction (the exact opposite route Coach USA takes) of the most important ingredient. It’s the same ingredient on which many of our most beloved brands base their signature sauce.

Tip #1

Boiled down to the basics, customer service is all about delivering happiness to your customers. So if you only take one thing away today, remember that screaming at paying customers, refusing to offer solutions, threatening missed flights, and making a whole bus full of customers uncomfortable at 5:30 a.m. (all before ever leaving the stop) isn’t recommended. Read more